By KM Huber
So just who is that voice that you hear in your head? It seems to have a relationship with the ever existential question, “Who am I?” For if the “I” is known, it would seem the origin of that voice would also be a known.
Of course, who am I may not be a question that has one answer. We are not the same person we were ten years ago or in any years previous. All of life is impermanent, ever changing.
Yet, in life, there is always the voice.
In his book, The Tethered Soul, Michael Singer offers that we are the observer:
There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind you are the one who hears it.
I found his image of the observer helpful. It provides a distance, a perspective much like the act of writing. The words are in my mind and with my fingers on a keyboard I search for consonants and vowels to re-create the voice physically.
Does that make me the observer? I am not sure for I hear my mind but I feel my heart. I feel as if the “I” is animating a body, having an experience as a human being in the physical dimension. This “I” is the energy in all that is.
“I” is separate from the voice and from the beat of my heart. “I” does not trust them equally. What is trusted is a symbiotic relationship between the two with the heart in the lead. In other words, the voice (the head) is tucked under the heart.
When the heart leads the voice, the “I” sits with any and all emotion as it reverberates throughout the body. The cells cling to emotion only when the voice leads—labeling, judging. Often, this emotional attachment becomes pain, and the body throbs.
The “I” feels the emotion in the pulse, in the chest. In order for the body to repair itself, the emotion has to be released. The “I” sits with the body and mind in order to release and repair. Meditation is an energy experience.
From the perspective of the being known as KM Huber, I do not know that “I” am Michael Singer’s observer but maybe. I can only know this life as the “I” of KM Huber. I do not believe the being who is KM Huber will exist when the voice and the heart are stilled. What will remain is the energy that animated KM Huber’s being.
Some call this energy the soul or spirit–it has many names—yet it is and has always been. As human beings, we share the experience of existence with the animate and inanimate of the physical world.
I think the voice has trouble with its temporary existence. Ego—edging God out as Wayne Dyer says—is only about itself. The heart pumps life through flesh, organs, bones and beats until no more. The voice is never quite satisfied perhaps because it is aware of its impermanence but then as the “I,” I do not have to listen.