01212014Headline:
"Remember to buy your monkey suspenders so you can pass them off as a dependent."

A Quick Deduction

22 hours ago | Comments Off
Ugh, I don’t even know how I’m going to write this post, I’m so distracted by Salvador Perez pressing his face against the front window and mewing like we never feed him and don’t let him sleep in the warm basement, [...]
"And here you have the body of a young stay at home mother who was smothered by her children while she had the flu. Incredibly sad."

Death Warmed Over

1 week ago | Comments Off
Oh, cruel fate. I have to say, there’s nothing a mother in charge of small children enjoys more than being sick for a week and half, feeling at the top of her game for two days, and then coming down with the plague right after. Health, [...]
quint

Strange Behavior

2 weeks ago | Comments Off
Well, it’s officially January in Kansas, which means the weather here is sucking our will to live. A new blanket of snow was thrown over our dreams of escape, two days ago, and the cabin fever is not so much the log cabin type, as it [...]
Paige Pic Dec 31, 2013

How To Cheat on Your Hair Stylist: In 5 Easy Steps

3 weeks ago | Comments Off
Let’s start today with an excerpt from Paige’s Big Book of Beauty: Hair and Back Again, A Mole’s Tale Beauty Secret #1 …”Trim hair, at least once, between pregnancies.” An entire year had passed before I [...]
If you're smarter than me and staying inside before Christmas, please enjoy this awkward, yet royalty-free image of Santa.

Braving the Grocery Store Before Christmas

4 weeks ago | Comments Off
Is everything around the Split level mass chaos? Yes. Thank you for asking. With one present left to buy, the van breaking down, and not a shower to be seen for me in the last couple days, things are, um, going. Not to worry, I found a few [...]
The office of the secretary who schedules my week. I fired her.

A Schedule of Tedious Events

1 month ago | Comments Off
You may remember I wrote a post on Monday which seemed fairly organized and punctuated by semi-clear thoughts and only thirty-seven typos. Unfortunately, today’s selection will be headed the opposite route, recounting this week’s [...]

How To Disappoint Small Children At Christmas

1 month ago | Comments Off
Ahh, there’s nothing like the smell of bleach in the afternoon. Am I right, or am I right? That’s correct. I’m wrong, it’s horrible, and I’m blinking through the fumes in order to write this post. Dedication, it’s [...]
Not our actual tree, parquet floors or full moon.

A Tree For Thee

2 months ago | Comments Off
We survived the holiday weekend, but I’m being proactive with combatting any weight I gained, by cooking up all the noodles and cheese in the house and eating all of it today. Less temptation for being sidetracked when I’m cleansing [...]

Just A Red Letter Day

2 months ago | Comments Off
I’d like to state, here and now, tea is no substitute for coffee. Yeah, I said it. I’m not trying to split you all into steeping and brewing factions, but lets just say I had to settle for pumpkin flavored leaves for the last two [...]
"Oh, my wife left me because I went on our date night without her. La la la."

No Date Night For You

2 months ago | Comments Off
I’ve always felt that the strongest marriages are built on miscommunication. Experts disagree, but it’s only through gross amounts of misinterpreted verbal exchange we see one of the party gets left out of plans to have fun and [...]